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Blonde Jokes
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Three pregnant women, blonde, brunette, and redhead, were sitting together and knitting for their babies.
The redhead said "I hope I have a girl because I've knitted a pink sweater."
The brunette said "I hope I have a boy because I've knitted a blue sweater."
And the blonde said "I hope I have a spastic because I've screwed these arms up"

Why did the blonde have blisters on her tounge?

Cause she was trying to blow out a light bulb.

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

Run like hell, she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Why don't blondes like anal sex?

They don't like their brains being screwed with.

How does a bitchy blonde do it doggy style?

She takes off her clothes and makes her boyfriend roll over and beg.

Why did the blonde jump off the cliff?

She thought her maxi had wings.

A blonde, a brunette and a red-head, all pregnant, were waiting for their doctor to give their sonogram reports. When the doctor entered the room to give them their reports, the brunette said "Doctor, I want to know the sex of my baby!" "Well," said the doctor, "During sex, were you laying on the top or on the bottom?" "I was on top," said the brunette. "Well," said the doctor, "You're going to have a baby GIRL!" "What about me?" asked the red-head. "I was on the bottom." "Then you will have a baby BOY!" The doctor replied. The blonde thought for a moment, and then said "Well, Shit. Does this mean I'm having PUPPIES?"